I have almost cried countless times already and it is only noon. I have choked back tears so that a certain 22 month old won't see just how very frazzled she has gotten me.
My child has whined incessantly since the moment she arose. To be fair, she has had a low grade fever and I am sure she just doesn't feel right, but couple the whining with her rebellious "No, mama, I do it" attitude and it has been a doozy.
I have prayed. I have ordered a Grande Pumpkin Latte. I have prayed some more. And, ashamedly, I have yelled.
At a 22 month old.
And a dog.
My nerves are in knots because, I am convinced, that there is NOTHING as nerve-knotting as hearing your own flesh and blood be so very discontent.
(For all of you non-parents reading, I feel this is an educated statement as I have worked in many high-stress environments, and this takes the cake.)
So, blog world...I write to you now and I sigh a resounding sigh of absolute defeat. I am not the mom that has it together today. I would never grace the cover of a Parenting Magazine...what, in my husband's basketball shorts, messy hair and nervously chewed off nails. I am utterly aware of my weakness at this very moment and, with tears in my eyes I have to laugh...because, after only 30 minutes, the 22 month old is crying in her bed to get up from her nap.
I shall say another prayer now.
And gulp down that latte.
"'My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.'
"Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ’s sake.
For when I am weak, then I am strong."
For when I am weak, then I am strong."
2 Corinthians 12:9-10
hey pamela! i love that you are blogging and have really enjoyed it so far.
ReplyDeletejust wanted to let you know that i understand :)
PS how DARE you presume to sip a latte! i am not a coffee person myself, but i hate it when my chilled, iced cokes have to sit and get watered down. i can imagine that drinking cold coffee is as bad or worse.... i've actually thought about skipping the middle man and just popping caffeine pills instead!! at least there is no disappointment involved and you get the benefit of the "boost"...haven't tried it yet. will let you know if i do! haha!
Granted I don't have one of my own but I've been pushed to the brink by 6 little ones before and can understand at least in part the break down...the tears and the feeling of defeat and wishing you hadn't yelled but you did and trying not to completely crumble into a sobbing mess in front of them...oy. sorry it has been on of those days sweet friend...so hard :/
ReplyDeletelove you.
Yuck, yuck, and yuck. Why is it that they always take short naps on the days that you really NEED a solid 3 hrs?!? Praying that tomorrow is leaps and bounds better.
ReplyDeleteKnow you are not alone in those days. I have definitely lost my cool with my kiddos. But tomorrow is always fresh with no mistakes.
Love you, friend! :)